[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
restorative. We, who have recovered from serious drink-
ing, are miracles of mental health. But we have seen
remarkable transformations in our bodies. Hardly one of
our crowd now shows any mark of dissipation.
But this does not mean that we disregard human health
measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with
fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various
kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to
such persons. Most of them give freely of themselves,
that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies.
Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles
among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psy-
chiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treat-
ing a newcomer and in following his case afterward.
One of the many doctors who had the opportunity
of reading this book in manuscript form told us that
the use of sweets was often helpful, of course depend-
ing upon a doctor s advice. He thought all alcoholics
134 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
should constantly have chocolate available for its quick
energy value at times of fatigue. He added that occa-
sionally in the night a vague craving arose which would
be satisfied by candy. Many of us have noticed a
tendency to eat sweets and have found this practice
beneficial.
A word about sex relations. Alcohol is so sexually
stimulating to some men that they have over-indulged.
Couples are occasionally dismayed to find that when
drinking is stopped the man tends to be impotent. Un-
less the reason is understood, there may be an emotional
upset. Some of us had this experience, only to enjoy, in
a few months, a finer intimacy than ever. There should
be no hesitancy in consulting a doctor or psychologist if
the condition persists. We do not know of many cases
where this difficulty lasted long.
The alcoholic may find it hard to re-establish friendly
relations with his children. Their young minds were im-
pressionable while he was drinking. Without saying so,
they may cordially hate him for what he has done to
them and to their mother. The children are sometimes
dominated by a pathetic hardness and cynicism. They
cannot seem to forgive and forget. This may hang on for
months, long after their mother has accepted dad s new
way of living and thinking.
In time they will see that he is a new man and in their
own way they will let him know it. When this happens,
they can be invited to join in morning meditation and
then they can take part in the daily discussion without
rancor or bias. From that point on, progress will be
rapid. Marvelous results often follow such a reunion.
THE FAMILY AFTERWARD 135
Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not, the
alcoholic member has to if he would recover. The others
must be convinced of his new status beyond the shadow
of a doubt. Seeing is believing to most families who have
lived with a drinker.
Here is a case in point: One of our friends is a heavy
smoker and coffee drinker. There was no doubt he over-
indulged. Seeing this, and meaning to be helpful, his wife
commenced to admonish him about it. He admitted he
was overdoing these things, but frankly said that he was
not ready to stop. His wife is one of those persons who
really feels there is something rather sinful about these
commodities, so she nagged, and her intolerance finally
threw him into a fit of anger. He got drunk.
Of course our friend was wrong dead wrong. He had
to painfully admit that and mend his spiritual fences.
Though he is now a most effective member of Alcoholics
Anonymous, he still smokes and drinks coffee, but nei-
ther his wife nor anyone else stands in judgment. She
sees she was wrong to make a burning issue out of such a
matter when his more serious ailments were being rap-
idly cured.
We have three little mottoes which are apropos. Here
they are:
First Things First
Live and Let Live
Easy Does It.
Note
1 Henry Ford: A pioneer of automated production, became widely
known and very wealthy from manufacturing automobiles.
Chapter 10
TO EMPLOYERS
MONG MANY employers nowadays, we think of
Aone member who has spent much of his life in the
world of big business. He has hired and fired hundreds of
men. He knows the alcoholic as the employer sees him.
His present views ought to prove exceptionally useful to
business men everywhere.
But let him tell you:
I was at one time assistant manager of a corporation
department employing sixty-six hundred men. One day
my secretary came in saying that Mr. B insisted on
speaking with me. I told her to say that I was not inter-
ested. I had warned him several times that he had but one
more chance. Not long afterward he had called me from
Hartford on two successive days, so drunk he could hardly
speak. I told him he was through finally and forever.
My secretary returned to say that it was not Mr. B on
the phone; it was Mr. B s brother, and he wished to give
me a message. I still expected a plea for clemency, but
these words came through the receiver: I just wanted to
tell you Paul jumped from a hotel window in Hartford last
Saturday. He left us a note saying you were the best boss
he ever had, and that you were not to blame in any way.
Another time, as I opened a letter which lay on my
TO EMPLOYERS 137
desk, a newspaper clipping fell out. It was the obituary
of one of the best salesmen I ever had. After two weeks
of drinking, he had placed his toe on the trigger of a loaded
shotgun the barrel was in his mouth. I had discharged
him for drinking six weeks before.
Still another experience: A woman s voice came faintly
over long distance from Virginia. She wanted to know if her
husband s company insurance was still in force. Four days
before he had hanged himself in his woodshed. I had been
obliged to discharge him for drinking, though he was bril-
liant, alert, and one of the best organizers I have ever known.
Here were three exceptional men lost to this world be-
cause I did not understand alcoholism as I do now. What
irony I became an alcoholic myself! And but for the
intervention of an understanding person, I might have
followed in their footsteps. My downfall cost the busi-
ness community unknown thousands of dollars, for it
takes real money to train a man for an executive position.
This kind of waste goes on unabated. We think the busi-
ness fabric is shot through with a situation which might
be helped by better understanding all around.
Nearly every modern employer feels a moral respon-
sibility for the well-being of his help, and he tries to
meet these responsibilities. That he has not always
done so for the alcoholic is easily understood. To him
the alcoholic has often seemed a fool of the first mag-
nitude. Because of the employee s special ability, or
of his own strong personal attachment to him, the em-
ployer has sometimes kept such a man at work long
beyond a reasonable period. Some employers have
tried every known remedy. In only a few instances
138 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
has there been a lack of patience and tolerance. And we,
who have imposed on the best of employers, can scarcely
blame them if they have been short with us.
Here, for instance, is a typical example: An officer of
one of the largest banking institutions in America knows [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl szkicerysunki.xlx.pl
restorative. We, who have recovered from serious drink-
ing, are miracles of mental health. But we have seen
remarkable transformations in our bodies. Hardly one of
our crowd now shows any mark of dissipation.
But this does not mean that we disregard human health
measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with
fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various
kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to
such persons. Most of them give freely of themselves,
that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies.
Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles
among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psy-
chiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treat-
ing a newcomer and in following his case afterward.
One of the many doctors who had the opportunity
of reading this book in manuscript form told us that
the use of sweets was often helpful, of course depend-
ing upon a doctor s advice. He thought all alcoholics
134 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
should constantly have chocolate available for its quick
energy value at times of fatigue. He added that occa-
sionally in the night a vague craving arose which would
be satisfied by candy. Many of us have noticed a
tendency to eat sweets and have found this practice
beneficial.
A word about sex relations. Alcohol is so sexually
stimulating to some men that they have over-indulged.
Couples are occasionally dismayed to find that when
drinking is stopped the man tends to be impotent. Un-
less the reason is understood, there may be an emotional
upset. Some of us had this experience, only to enjoy, in
a few months, a finer intimacy than ever. There should
be no hesitancy in consulting a doctor or psychologist if
the condition persists. We do not know of many cases
where this difficulty lasted long.
The alcoholic may find it hard to re-establish friendly
relations with his children. Their young minds were im-
pressionable while he was drinking. Without saying so,
they may cordially hate him for what he has done to
them and to their mother. The children are sometimes
dominated by a pathetic hardness and cynicism. They
cannot seem to forgive and forget. This may hang on for
months, long after their mother has accepted dad s new
way of living and thinking.
In time they will see that he is a new man and in their
own way they will let him know it. When this happens,
they can be invited to join in morning meditation and
then they can take part in the daily discussion without
rancor or bias. From that point on, progress will be
rapid. Marvelous results often follow such a reunion.
THE FAMILY AFTERWARD 135
Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not, the
alcoholic member has to if he would recover. The others
must be convinced of his new status beyond the shadow
of a doubt. Seeing is believing to most families who have
lived with a drinker.
Here is a case in point: One of our friends is a heavy
smoker and coffee drinker. There was no doubt he over-
indulged. Seeing this, and meaning to be helpful, his wife
commenced to admonish him about it. He admitted he
was overdoing these things, but frankly said that he was
not ready to stop. His wife is one of those persons who
really feels there is something rather sinful about these
commodities, so she nagged, and her intolerance finally
threw him into a fit of anger. He got drunk.
Of course our friend was wrong dead wrong. He had
to painfully admit that and mend his spiritual fences.
Though he is now a most effective member of Alcoholics
Anonymous, he still smokes and drinks coffee, but nei-
ther his wife nor anyone else stands in judgment. She
sees she was wrong to make a burning issue out of such a
matter when his more serious ailments were being rap-
idly cured.
We have three little mottoes which are apropos. Here
they are:
First Things First
Live and Let Live
Easy Does It.
Note
1 Henry Ford: A pioneer of automated production, became widely
known and very wealthy from manufacturing automobiles.
Chapter 10
TO EMPLOYERS
MONG MANY employers nowadays, we think of
Aone member who has spent much of his life in the
world of big business. He has hired and fired hundreds of
men. He knows the alcoholic as the employer sees him.
His present views ought to prove exceptionally useful to
business men everywhere.
But let him tell you:
I was at one time assistant manager of a corporation
department employing sixty-six hundred men. One day
my secretary came in saying that Mr. B insisted on
speaking with me. I told her to say that I was not inter-
ested. I had warned him several times that he had but one
more chance. Not long afterward he had called me from
Hartford on two successive days, so drunk he could hardly
speak. I told him he was through finally and forever.
My secretary returned to say that it was not Mr. B on
the phone; it was Mr. B s brother, and he wished to give
me a message. I still expected a plea for clemency, but
these words came through the receiver: I just wanted to
tell you Paul jumped from a hotel window in Hartford last
Saturday. He left us a note saying you were the best boss
he ever had, and that you were not to blame in any way.
Another time, as I opened a letter which lay on my
TO EMPLOYERS 137
desk, a newspaper clipping fell out. It was the obituary
of one of the best salesmen I ever had. After two weeks
of drinking, he had placed his toe on the trigger of a loaded
shotgun the barrel was in his mouth. I had discharged
him for drinking six weeks before.
Still another experience: A woman s voice came faintly
over long distance from Virginia. She wanted to know if her
husband s company insurance was still in force. Four days
before he had hanged himself in his woodshed. I had been
obliged to discharge him for drinking, though he was bril-
liant, alert, and one of the best organizers I have ever known.
Here were three exceptional men lost to this world be-
cause I did not understand alcoholism as I do now. What
irony I became an alcoholic myself! And but for the
intervention of an understanding person, I might have
followed in their footsteps. My downfall cost the busi-
ness community unknown thousands of dollars, for it
takes real money to train a man for an executive position.
This kind of waste goes on unabated. We think the busi-
ness fabric is shot through with a situation which might
be helped by better understanding all around.
Nearly every modern employer feels a moral respon-
sibility for the well-being of his help, and he tries to
meet these responsibilities. That he has not always
done so for the alcoholic is easily understood. To him
the alcoholic has often seemed a fool of the first mag-
nitude. Because of the employee s special ability, or
of his own strong personal attachment to him, the em-
ployer has sometimes kept such a man at work long
beyond a reasonable period. Some employers have
tried every known remedy. In only a few instances
138 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
has there been a lack of patience and tolerance. And we,
who have imposed on the best of employers, can scarcely
blame them if they have been short with us.
Here, for instance, is a typical example: An officer of
one of the largest banking institutions in America knows [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]