[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
True, of corsh, he muttered. I don t blame you. It sh hard to be a hero with
no teethsh. It don t matter what elsh you loosh, you can get by with one eye even,
but you show em a mouth full of gumsh and no-one hash any reshpect.
I do, said Bethan loyally.
Why don t you get some more? said Twoflower brightly.
Yesh, well, if I wash a shark or something, yesh, I d grow shome, said Cohen
sarcastically.
Oh, no, you buy them, said Twoflower. Look, I ll show you er, Bethan,
do you mind looking the other way? He waited until she had turned around and
then put his hand to his mouth.
83
You shee? he said.
Bethan heard Cohen gasp.
You can take yoursh out?
Oh yesh. I ve got sheveral shets. Excushe me there was a swallowing
noise, and then in a more normal voice Twoflower said, It s very convenient, of
course.
Cohen s very voice radiated awe, or as much awe as is possible without teeth,
which is about the same amount as with teeth but sounds a great deal less impres-
sive.
I should think show, he said. When they ache, you jusht take them out and
let them get on with it, yesh?
Teach the little buggersh a lesshon, shee how they like being left to ache all by
themshelvesh!
That s not quite right, said Twoflower carefully. They re not mine, they just
belong to me.
You put shomeone elshe s teethsh in your mouth?
No, someone made them, lots of people wear them where I come from, it s
a
But Twoflower s lecture on dental appliances went ungiven, because some-
body hit him.
The Disc s little moon toiled across the sky. It shone by its own light, ow-
ing to the cramped and rather inefficient astronomical arrangements made by the
Creator, and was quite crowded with assorted lunar goddesses who were not, at
this particular time, paying much attention to what went on in the Disc but were
getting up a petition about the Ice Giants.
Had they looked down, they would have seen Rincewind talking urgently to a
bunch of rocks.
Trolls are one of the oldest lifeforms in the multiverse, dating from an early
attempt to get the whole life thing on the road without all that squashy proto-
plasm. Individual trolls live for a long time, hibernating during the summertime
and sleeping during the day, since heat affects them and makes them slow. They
have a fascinating geology. One could talk about tribology, one could mention the
semiconductor effects of impure silicon, one could talk about the giant trolls of
prehistory who make up most of the Disc s major mountain ranges and will cause
some real problems if they ever awake, but the plain fact is that without the Disc s
powerful and pervasive magical field trolls would have died out a long time ago.
Psychiatry hadn t been invented on the Disc. No-one had ever shoved an
84
inkblot under Rincewind s nose to see if he had any loose toys in the attic. So
the only way he d have been able to describe the rocks turning back into rolls was
by gabbling vaguely about how pictures suddenly form when you look at the fire,
or clouds.
One minute there d be a perfectly ordinary rock, and suddenly a few cracks
that had been there all along took on the definite appearance of a mouth or a
pointed ear. A moment later, and without anything actually changing at all, a troll
would be sitting there, grinning at him with a mouth full of diamonds.
They wouldn t be able to digest me, he told himself. I d make them awfully
ill.
It wasn t much of a comfort.
So you re Rincewind the wizard, said the nearest one. It sounded like some-
one running over gravel. I dunno. I thought you d be taller.
Perhaps he s eroded a bit, said another one. The legend is awfully old.
Rincewind shifted awkwardly. He was pretty certain the rock he was sitting
on was changing shape, and a tiny troll hardly any more than a pebble was
sitting companionably on his foot and watching him with extreme interest.
Legend? he said. What legend?
It s been handed down from mountain to gravel since the sunset3 of time,
said the first troll. When the red star lights the sky Rincewind the wizard will
come looking for onions. Do not bite him. It is very important that you help him
stay alive.
There was a pause.
That s it? said Rincewind.
Yes, said the troll. We ve always been puzzled about it. Most of our legends
are much more exciting. It was more interesting being a rock in the old days.
It was? said Rincewind weakly.
Oh yes. No end of fun. Volcanoes all over the place. It really meant some-
thing, being a rock then.There was none f this sedimentary nonsense, you were
igneous or nothing. Of course, that s all gone now. People call themselves trolls
today, well, sometimes they re hardly more than slate. Chalk even. I wouldn t
give myself airs if you could use me to draw with, would you?
No, said Rincewind quickly. Absolutely not, no. This, er, this legend thing.
It said you shouldn t bite me?
That s right! said the little troll on his foot, and it was me who told you
where the onions were!
We re rather glad you came along, said the first troll, which Rincewind
couldn t help noticing was the biggest one there. We re a bit worried about this
new star. What does it mean?
3
An interesting metaphor. To nocturnal trolls, of course, the dawn of time lies in the future.
85
I don t know, said Rincewind. Everyone seems to think I know about it, but
I don t
It s not that we would mind being melted down, said the big troll. That s
how we all started, anyway. But we thought, maybe, it might mean the end of
everything and that doesn t seem a very good thing.
It s getting bigger, said another troll. Look at it now. Bigger than last night.
Rincewind looked. It was definitely bigger than last night.
So we thought you might have some suggestions? said the head troll, as
meekly as it is possible to sound with a voice like a granite gargle.
You could jump over the Edge, said Rincewind. There must be lots of places
in the universe that could do with some extra rocks.
We ve heard about that, said the troll. We ve met rocks that tried it. They
say you float about for millions of years and then you get very hot and burn away
and end up at the bottom of a big hole in the scenery. That doesn t sound very
bright.
It stood up with a noise like coal rattling down a chute, and stretched its thick,
knobbly arms.
Well, we re supposed to help you, it said. Anything you want doing? [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl szkicerysunki.xlx.pl
True, of corsh, he muttered. I don t blame you. It sh hard to be a hero with
no teethsh. It don t matter what elsh you loosh, you can get by with one eye even,
but you show em a mouth full of gumsh and no-one hash any reshpect.
I do, said Bethan loyally.
Why don t you get some more? said Twoflower brightly.
Yesh, well, if I wash a shark or something, yesh, I d grow shome, said Cohen
sarcastically.
Oh, no, you buy them, said Twoflower. Look, I ll show you er, Bethan,
do you mind looking the other way? He waited until she had turned around and
then put his hand to his mouth.
83
You shee? he said.
Bethan heard Cohen gasp.
You can take yoursh out?
Oh yesh. I ve got sheveral shets. Excushe me there was a swallowing
noise, and then in a more normal voice Twoflower said, It s very convenient, of
course.
Cohen s very voice radiated awe, or as much awe as is possible without teeth,
which is about the same amount as with teeth but sounds a great deal less impres-
sive.
I should think show, he said. When they ache, you jusht take them out and
let them get on with it, yesh?
Teach the little buggersh a lesshon, shee how they like being left to ache all by
themshelvesh!
That s not quite right, said Twoflower carefully. They re not mine, they just
belong to me.
You put shomeone elshe s teethsh in your mouth?
No, someone made them, lots of people wear them where I come from, it s
a
But Twoflower s lecture on dental appliances went ungiven, because some-
body hit him.
The Disc s little moon toiled across the sky. It shone by its own light, ow-
ing to the cramped and rather inefficient astronomical arrangements made by the
Creator, and was quite crowded with assorted lunar goddesses who were not, at
this particular time, paying much attention to what went on in the Disc but were
getting up a petition about the Ice Giants.
Had they looked down, they would have seen Rincewind talking urgently to a
bunch of rocks.
Trolls are one of the oldest lifeforms in the multiverse, dating from an early
attempt to get the whole life thing on the road without all that squashy proto-
plasm. Individual trolls live for a long time, hibernating during the summertime
and sleeping during the day, since heat affects them and makes them slow. They
have a fascinating geology. One could talk about tribology, one could mention the
semiconductor effects of impure silicon, one could talk about the giant trolls of
prehistory who make up most of the Disc s major mountain ranges and will cause
some real problems if they ever awake, but the plain fact is that without the Disc s
powerful and pervasive magical field trolls would have died out a long time ago.
Psychiatry hadn t been invented on the Disc. No-one had ever shoved an
84
inkblot under Rincewind s nose to see if he had any loose toys in the attic. So
the only way he d have been able to describe the rocks turning back into rolls was
by gabbling vaguely about how pictures suddenly form when you look at the fire,
or clouds.
One minute there d be a perfectly ordinary rock, and suddenly a few cracks
that had been there all along took on the definite appearance of a mouth or a
pointed ear. A moment later, and without anything actually changing at all, a troll
would be sitting there, grinning at him with a mouth full of diamonds.
They wouldn t be able to digest me, he told himself. I d make them awfully
ill.
It wasn t much of a comfort.
So you re Rincewind the wizard, said the nearest one. It sounded like some-
one running over gravel. I dunno. I thought you d be taller.
Perhaps he s eroded a bit, said another one. The legend is awfully old.
Rincewind shifted awkwardly. He was pretty certain the rock he was sitting
on was changing shape, and a tiny troll hardly any more than a pebble was
sitting companionably on his foot and watching him with extreme interest.
Legend? he said. What legend?
It s been handed down from mountain to gravel since the sunset3 of time,
said the first troll. When the red star lights the sky Rincewind the wizard will
come looking for onions. Do not bite him. It is very important that you help him
stay alive.
There was a pause.
That s it? said Rincewind.
Yes, said the troll. We ve always been puzzled about it. Most of our legends
are much more exciting. It was more interesting being a rock in the old days.
It was? said Rincewind weakly.
Oh yes. No end of fun. Volcanoes all over the place. It really meant some-
thing, being a rock then.There was none f this sedimentary nonsense, you were
igneous or nothing. Of course, that s all gone now. People call themselves trolls
today, well, sometimes they re hardly more than slate. Chalk even. I wouldn t
give myself airs if you could use me to draw with, would you?
No, said Rincewind quickly. Absolutely not, no. This, er, this legend thing.
It said you shouldn t bite me?
That s right! said the little troll on his foot, and it was me who told you
where the onions were!
We re rather glad you came along, said the first troll, which Rincewind
couldn t help noticing was the biggest one there. We re a bit worried about this
new star. What does it mean?
3
An interesting metaphor. To nocturnal trolls, of course, the dawn of time lies in the future.
85
I don t know, said Rincewind. Everyone seems to think I know about it, but
I don t
It s not that we would mind being melted down, said the big troll. That s
how we all started, anyway. But we thought, maybe, it might mean the end of
everything and that doesn t seem a very good thing.
It s getting bigger, said another troll. Look at it now. Bigger than last night.
Rincewind looked. It was definitely bigger than last night.
So we thought you might have some suggestions? said the head troll, as
meekly as it is possible to sound with a voice like a granite gargle.
You could jump over the Edge, said Rincewind. There must be lots of places
in the universe that could do with some extra rocks.
We ve heard about that, said the troll. We ve met rocks that tried it. They
say you float about for millions of years and then you get very hot and burn away
and end up at the bottom of a big hole in the scenery. That doesn t sound very
bright.
It stood up with a noise like coal rattling down a chute, and stretched its thick,
knobbly arms.
Well, we re supposed to help you, it said. Anything you want doing? [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]